Star Wars Episode IX - The Rise of Skywalker

I had a bad feeling about STAR WARS EPISODE IX - THE RISE OF SKYWALKER from the opening scenes.  Everything was so damned rushed.  It played like a highlight reel, a trailer.  And, despite the caffeinated approach, so tired.  I realize that director JJ Abrams had a lot of ground to cover in two and one half hours in this final chapter of a nine picture saga that began over forty years ago.  For the millions of fanboys who suffered diaper rash over EPISODE VIII: THE LAST JEDI, Abrams also had much to "fix."  A daunting task anyway to make a STAR WARS movie, but it all came down to this one.  Would "all the questions be answered", as the advertising promised? Would the director play the nice company employee and please all the crybaby fans? Would he run the risk of trying to please everyone and end up not pleasing anyone?

As before, opinion is divided.  Many who wielded white hot hate for LAST JEDI cite this as an improvement, "really good" even.   But I heard someone in the lobby afterward state how disappointed they were with it.  Forbes said it was the worst in the series since EPISODE ONE -THE PHANTOM MENACE.  People at my screening in New York City, on the night before official release, were laughing in what I assume were all the wrong places.  It was hard to disagree.  I saw the film with my brother, continuing a Christmas tradition begun in 2015 with THE FORCE AWAKENS.  We both had that desperate feeling of really wanting to like the movie, being lifelong dedicated SW junkies and all.  But RISE OF SKYWALKER (aside from some decent battle sequences) had too many flaws to really allow that to happen.

1.  The aforementioned rushed feeling.  Scenes played like hit and run, especially in the first act. Was there a conversation that last more than a few seconds?

2. A pandering to the haters of LAST JEDI. Almost an apology.  Threads begun in that entry are either forgotten or refuted.  Promising characters sidelined.  Luke even tells Rey " I was wrong" when she confronts his apparition about his years of solitude and inactivity (and his overall cranky attitude, which I thought was realistic for the character).

3. A dilution of character arcs, which were developing nicely in the previous film.  Poe, Rey, and Finn were, let's face it, always kinda bland compared to Luke, Leia, and Han but Rian Johnson dared to attempt to flesh them out in his movie.  But you see what happens when you bend the rigid fanboy rules.  There is a reason why studios don't typically hire auteurs - who bring their own creative ideas and points of view - to direct their franchises.

4. The script is one hot mess.  The revelation of Rey's lineage was potentially interesting but the not unrelated re-emergence of an old Rebel nemesis was handled ridiculously for the most part.  I can also go on about a subplot involving an Imperial traitor.  And the wiping of C-3PO's memory.  The really goofy attempts at humor (yes, even moreso than in LAST JEDI). And....

Abrams and Chris Terrio do succeed with a thread about Finn's introduction to other former Stormtroopers (who were conscripted) and Rey and Kylo's continuing dangerous would-be alliance, but in a film racing to tie everything up, everything suffers.  I would've liked more with the Zorii Bliss character.  I read that THE RISE OF SKYWALKER plays as if an angry fan decided he could write a better movie than Rian Johnson...and got the chance.  Did he ever.  It all feels like an imitation of the STAR WARS legend; it even glimpses characters we haven't seen since the original trilogy, and never measures up to those movies.  I think, now that we've reached an end (not "the end" of course), that we can all finally agree on one thing  --  that Episodes IV, V, and VI are the only ones really worth seeing.