The Expendables

2010's THE EXPENDABLES contains nothing you haven't seen before, and of course that was the idea.  Here was a calculated effort to capture old school filmic machismo and camaraderie.  How cool would it be to see not one but at least five of your favorite ass kicking heroes in one movie?   Action star Sylvester Stallone assembled a roster of other action stars to (potentially) multiply the sort of thrills one gets from movies with lotsa fistfights, chases, and explosions.  Mostly explosions.  By the third act, there sure are a lot of 'em. 

The Expendables are a group of mercenaries who you might find on some remote island in the Arabian Sea rescuing hostages.  Or overthrowing a drug lord.  Things like that.  They don't come cheap. When Mr. Church (Bruce Willis) enlists Expendables leader Barney Ross (Stallone) and his team to take out a dictator somewhere off the coast of Mexico he has to shell out five mil.  Half up front.  Mr. Church expects results, and threatens to turn the Expendables into dog treats if they don't deliver.

He needn't worry, as Ross and his ensemble are highly skilled mofos.  Lee Christmas (Jason Statham) knows his knives. Yin Yang (Jet Li) is a martial artist.  Gunner Jensen (Dolph Lundgren) is ex-military. Hale Caesar (Terry Crews) packs an AA-12 with explosive rounds, the sound of which provide the biggest laughs in the movie.  There's also demolitions expert Toll Road (Randy Couture), whose talents will certainly come in handy.

The women in THE EXPENDABLES aren't terribly interesting.  Giselle Itle plays Sandra, the dictator's daughter.  She seems committed to the role and even endures a waterboarding scene, but her screen charisma is lacking; it reminded me of Consuelo Gomez's similar lack of magnetism in EL MARIACHI.  Faring worse is Charisma Carpenter as Lacy, Christmas' girlfriend, who barely gets through her big scene when he catches her with another dude.

But this is a guys' night out from the get go.  I wish the banter among these alphas wasn't so lukewarm.  The humor, mainly wisecracks, are lame.  The action is OK.  The cinematography (by Jeffrey Kimball)  looks like crap.  The shaky camera bit gets old quickly.  

I do have to give props to Mickey Rourke as Tool, a retired merc who runs the tattoo parlor where the guys blow off steam.  He's in good form and has a heartfelt soliloquy.