Unfrosted

I recall an interview with Jerry Seinfeld published shortly after his iconic sitcom ceased production in the late '90s.  The one where he was asked if he was planning a transition to the big screen.  "I don't know if comedy is a movie."  And for years, he avoided any such vehicles, aside from lending his voice to BEE MOVIE.  But here is this year's UNFROSTED, a fictionalized account of the origins of the Pop Tart, the beloved toaster pastry that was the subject of one of Jerry's bits on stage.  It is well known that the comedian, who co-wrote, directed, produced, and starred in this made for Netflix movie, is an avowed fan of all things breakfast.  What an ideal marriage!

Er.  Maybe you've read the bad reviews.  You should believe them.  UNFROSTED, set in the early 1960s, is not good.  Not terrible, at least not all of the time.  What struck me was how much the project reeked of a first timer's overeagerness to be clever.  Jerry should've known better.  There's simply too much going on.  Too many characters (what are Tom Carvel and Chef Boyardee doing here?).  Seinfeld's studied economy with humor on stage and on his TV program is nowhere to be found.  The movie is wall to wall jokes, and almost none of them play.  I'm always baffled when writers repeat the same joke, or the same kind of joke over and over.  If your rapid fire gagfest is hoping for a favorable hit/miss ratio, at least vary it up. AIRPLANE! is a notable exception to that rule.  Here, the same tired hindsight "that could never happen" jokes never stop.  A man on the moon? No way! Even the anachronisms don't land. 

Jerry plays Bob Cabana, an enthusiastic Kelloggs executive looking for another marketplace breakthrough.  He and boss Edsel Kellogg III (Jim Gaffigan, well cast) battle rival Marjorie Post (Amy Schumer) over the top spot, and discover that Post has stolen Bob's plans for a new product.  A rectangular goo filled toastable.  Curiously, the movie doesn't make much of this espionage; it just becomes yet another throwaway joke.  Barely more than that is a sublot involving a shifty milkman named Mike Diamond (Christian Slater) and his boss Harry Friendly (Peter Dinklage).  

Bill Pope's photography looks great.  The art direction and evocations of '60s artifacts are an eyeful.  Jerry's direction is spirited and more than competent.  The cast is fine.  Hugh Grant was enjoyable as Thurl Ravenscroft, a Shakespearean actor humiliated by his gig as Tony the Tiger.  The line about his one man show of TWELVE ANGRY MEN was one of the few times I laughed audibly.   The use of Norman Greenbaum's "Spirit in the Sky" was just as stale as it's been in a dozen other movies. 

In the end, it just wasn't funny. Not the innuendoes, not the slapstick, not the wink wink cameos. This should've been a sharp corporate satire, but instead feels like an overwritten TV variety special, with some would-be Coens-esque moments here and there.  Few things are as embarrassing as a yukfest that doesn't work, and scene after scene, while eventful, just kinda lies there.  While I agree with Jerry's feelings about how the current climate of political correctness has all but killed comedy, this movie doesn't help his case.