Dragnet

There probably hasn't been a more perfect casting choice in film history than having Dan Aykroyd play Joe Friday, the nephew of the famed (fictional) lawman with the same name.  Dragnet began on radio and developed into a highly successful T.V. show in the 1950s.  There was the inevitable cash tie-in movie.  In the '60s, actor Jack Webb reprised his role as the incorruptible Los Angeles detective with the amusing notion of having a straight arrow interact with hippie culture.  In 1987, DRAGNET was conceived with a broader approach, an out and out comedy/parody that proves that the original shows had the right idea and worked best as straight dramas; the laughter came from the recognizance of personality types and clashes.  Well, also period cheesines, it must be said.

Watching DRAGNET these days reveals that the newer film has aged as much as anything previous.  The '80s sensibility saturates the movie and of course that was the idea.  How would another self serious, ultra dedicated member of the Friday family exist in the decade where pornography is more mainstream and other policemen dress like slobs? How are we to rate a movie where instead of the famous "dum da dum dum" theme we have a synth-pop re-imagining by Art of Noise?

The biggest problem with DRAGNET is the script, penned by Aykroyd, Alan Zweibel, and director Tom Mankiewicz.  The case investigated by Friday and his footloose partner Pep Streebeck (Tom Hanks) centers around a mysterious cult that holds virgin sacrifices. I've rarely found these elements interesting in fiction, be it in the James Bond flick LIVE AND LET DIE or the surf noir novel Tapping the Source.  In real life, rituals such as this must be unthinkably horrifying, but that horror and engagement of such never quite seems to translate for me. And for a comedy? What were you guys thinking?

Sure, cults are a thing in Los Angeles.  That idea could've been mined for some laughs.  Additionally, the plot involves a Hugh Hefner-like magnate named Jerry Caesar played by Dabney Coleman and his nemesis, a reverend (Christopher Plummer) leading a crusade against the former's smut magazine.  These are promising ingredients, and there are some funny moments and good lines.  The actors are all entertaining.  Harry Morgan, who played Bill Gannon, the original Friday's partner on the '60s show, returns to the role but now promoted to captain of the LAPD.  Nice to see him, even if his part is mainly doing facepalms over his employees' ineptitude.

Getting back to Aykroyd.  He's so perfect in his part, so meticulous and anal that all he needs to do is stand there and read the telephone directory.  Some of his interaction with Hanks is fun, but otherwise he's all polished and pressed with nowhere to go.  Sorry, Joe.