The Trip You Must Take, Part V

Day Six: No ports, just cruising at sea. A day to take a breath and enjoy the amenities of the wonderful Celebrity Infinity. This line is very classy; no conga lines of drunks up and down the hall at 3 A.M. or any of that sort of thing. The demographic was wee tykes to octogenrians, newbies (like me) and seasoned vets. Some of them had been on this Alaskan journey before. Cannot say I blame them for a return, be it for the vistas or just the ship itself. I'd been told that cruise life is fab, and I'm here to say likewise. The pampering is total, yet never excessive. The commercials for Celebrity state that the staffs are omnipresent but never in the way. Very true. One day, we returned to our suite with arms 'o goodies. Out of nowhere was a stateroom attendant, key in hand.

Up till this day on the ship, we had already enjoyed culinary extravagance and the diligent attention of a superlative crew. The Oceanview Cafe was open from early morning until 11 P.M. daily, with different stations for American, Asian, Italian, and even British fare. We hit the cafe mainly at breakfast and lunch; the dress was always casual. The wait staff was continually ready with a fresh plate or a bottle of wine. Gratuities (15%) were figured into our final bill, but additionals were encouraged (and well earned).

Most nights we dined at the 2-level Trellis restaurant with two delightful elder couples from Arizona and Minnesota. One couple were teetotalers, the other, not (recall we had seen one at the Red Dog). Our table was right against a window, which was wonderful except for the night a school of dolphins appeared. The excitement spread across the room and there was a rush to see the formations. We were swamped with gazers. Otherwise, the Trellis was quite nice, with Mr. Nieto, our attentive waiter. The food was very good (lobster, truffles, crab cakes, salmon, etc. etc.), though the S.S. United States from the first night was a very hard act to follow. I wanted to return there but we did not make it.

There were two formal nights, two chances to sport a recently acquired tuxedo. Good thing I had transported it in a garmant bag, as irons are not allowed on the ship. This is good to remember for anyone reading who's never sailed on a cruise. When I learned this on Day One, I was not happy. Most of my clothes had been folded and were thoroughly wrinkled. I had to spring for laundry services. Otherwise, we put our trousers and blouses near the steam in the shower. One the second formal night, all of the waiters came out to the strains of "Auld Lang Syne", carrying trays of yes, Baked Alaska. Wait, I thought fire was verboten..... That night we were also treated to another cake when the wait staff discovered that we were newlyweds. This was our third dessert that night!

That evening we also took in another variety show courtesy the Celebrity Singers and Dancers. Each night was a different theme; we saw the Broadway, Rock 'n' Roll and "Around the World" showcases. All were fun, if a bit campy at times. I could not contain my laughter on R and R night when a white baby grand ascended from under the stage with a guy on top singing "Piano Man". Even worse that night, an ultra cheesy rendition of the Jackson Five's "ABC". The outfits, the lack of rhythm; it was all too much. My ribs hurt from laughing and from my wife's elbow. However, the piano man himself came out a few nights later with a thunderous Italian aria that blew everyone away. Nothing we had seen prior would prepare us for such a passionate performance, easily the best moment on the Celebrity Stage that week. The theater itself was huge, complete with balcony area. Impressive.

A string trio (there was a 4th who was apparently ousted some time back) also dazzled us more than once with their energetic takes on Schubert and others. One of the violinists was expressive to the point of concern. The musicians were perched nightly near the Champagne Bar, and a mesmerized dozen or so watched and listened. They were like sirens, this trio. A stop at the Martini Bar lounge afforded a listen to a good jazz outfit. Went down nicely with a strong brandy.

Flitting about the ship and hosting multiple events was Artie, our Cruise Director. Artie was a very cheerful fellow, his resume extensive in the entertainment field. He walked around saying "Hakuna.." waiting for the often startled shipgoer to finish with "matata". Some got confused and said "potato". One lady, Artie relayed, simply groaned and said "whatever." Obviously, Ms. Grumpypants hadn't had a visit to the luxurious spa, as we did. Our massages were deep tissue, the sounds of the ocean swirling along with Enya. A nice afternoon.

I see I've rambled, gone out of order. That's how a day at sea was, no structure. Loved it. Sure, there was plenty to do-classes, games, tastings, art expos. One could easily plan things within an inch of their lives from sunup if they so desired. But we mainly saw where the day took us. As I toured the boat, I began to think that I could easily live there. All the things I needed where at my disposal: chapel, restaurants, meeting rooms, movie theater, gym, pool, offices. I could live and work at sea! Then, I could jump off and enjoy the ports. I could do it, really....